Swoony Sunday Book Review: "Settle the Score"
Kris Ripper's new queer romance puts a nice spin on the traditional sports rom-com, and the result is an infectiously funny and sweet love story that's perfect for fans of "Ted Lasso."
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Welcome to the first edition of “Swoony Sunday,” where I’ll be reviewing romance in all of its forms: film, TV, books. As a Pisces, I love to love, and what better way to express that than through writing about romance, the genre that’s all about finding your heart’s desire?
For this week’s Swoony Sunday we’re looking at Settle the Score by Kris Ripper. This is another of those books which I just happened to stumble upon at my local library, and it’s my first time reading Ripper, who has very quickly become a new favorite queer romance author. I’m happy to say that this book is another excellent example of how even the tropiest of novels can still steal your heart and make you swoon in your seat.
Our hero is Des Cleary, a young man who was once a journalist but, having used his writing to out a popular and successful soccer star, Orion Broderick, he’s now left all of that behind, reasoning that he doesn’t have the right to write any longer. All of this changes when he’s sent to meet up with Broderick to try to recruit him for a campaign to get kids involved with sports, only to end up snowed in with him in a cabin. At first the two strike sparks off each other but with each passing day, it becomes clear that there’s something simmering between the two men. Each has to come to terms with the past in order to move forward into the future.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I simply adore messy gay romance heroes. I know that a lot of people seem to want their protagonists to be perfect and polished, with no flaws or shortcomings, but to me, though, the whole point of romance as a genre is that it shows us people who are just like us, in all of our glorious and sometimes frustrating complexity. They certainly don’t come messier than Des Cleary, who can’t seem to do anything without making a total mess of things. Whether it’s trying to escape from Orion’s house–after the former soccer player figures out who he is–only to end up crashing into the garage or floundering through pretty much any interaction they have, he is, quite simply, a mess.
And, as it turns out, though, Des isn’t entirely incapable of self-reflection and growth. As the novel goes on, he really does grapple, quite meaningfully, with not just his actions but also the deep insecurities that gave rise to his desire to out Des and get a leg up in his own career. It’s not everyone who could look at themselves with such clear-eyed analysis, particularly not when it comes to such a key part of our personalities. True, it does take him quite a while to get there, but you have to give the poor guy some points for at least being willing to acknowledge that he is the asshole.
There’s also unmistakable chemistry between Des and Orion. It’s there from the very moment that they meet each other, and it only increases once Orion figures out who Orion is. The fact that Des was the one who was the architect of his downfall makes the sparks fly even more intensely, and I like that Des has to really work to get onto Orion’s good side, and that even their eventual romantic climax isn’t quite as easy as we might expect. After all, just because you spend a few days snowed together doesn’t mean that everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows, and Des still has some learning to do. Sometimes, as Des discovers, it’s not enough to be sorry and expect someone else to do the emotional labor of forgiving you. Sometimes, the onus is on you to figure your shit out first.
In addition to having a lot of sexy chemistry, the book is also remarkably funny. Des may be infuriating at times, but there’s no doubt that he’s also quite hilarious. And, of course, there’s also the fact that he gets himself into all sorts of scrapes, meaning that you can’t help but laugh at him. As someone who has been known to back their car into various things in an attempt to get out of snow, and I’m also someone who would take in a little dog who happened to be trapped in a stranger’s garage. This is also a lovely little plot point, and it gives the two characters a chance to really bond over something that isn’t their shared past.
While I really did love this book, I do agree with those critics who argue that the switch from enemies to lovers happens quite abruptly, with little to no explanation why Orion suddenly decides to kiss Des. I thought perhaps it would be because he saw the beauty of Des’s spirit when he’s protecting the dog, but that’s not really made explicit. This isn’t a dealbreaker, obviously, but it is something that sort of sticks out. Fortunately, some of the later events of the novel–including the moment when Des sends a lovesick essay that he penned to Orion via courier–helps to make up for it.
I noted that some reviewers didn’t like that roughly the third act of the novel focuses mostly on Des as he tries to get his life back together. I actually didn’t mind this part, though, because it’s clear from his interactions with Orion that he has a lot to work on and a lot of stuff to process. Besides, there’s only so much that a forced proximity book can do when it comes to keeping characters together. Among other things, he has to grapple with some pretty heavy family stuff, but Ripper handles this with grace and aplomb, too. Des goes to some pretty deep places, but he manages to come back a stronger and better person for it (thanks in no small part to a pair of fairy gaymother lesbians).
What it comes down to, I think, is this. Settle the Score is just a very fun book to read. It’s chaotic and messy and ridiculous, just like you would expect from any rom-com worth its salt. It makes you love its hero even as you also want to reach through the book and throttle him sometimes. Des is everything that we love and hate about ourselves, and seeing him get his happy ending with Orion–despite all that stands between them, gives us hope that love always finds a way.